The Mindset That Ended Alcohol Relapse
We have (finally!) debunked everything you need to know about alcohol relapse, why it happens, and what you can do about it.
Relapsing: Definition vs. Solution
Simply put, an alcohol relapse is when a person returns to drinking alcohol or taking drugs after an attempt at sobriety. It happens when a person stops taking the steps needed to achieve their goals as a response to something even more significant. In layman’s terms, relapses are when we "slip" away from our diets, personal goals, or recovery.
That’s the basic definition of what a relapse is for an alcoholic. But this definition will not get you anywhere. It’s just a definition; what we want is a solution.
What most people leave undiscussed is how relapses are not something we wanted or “planned” in the first place. Ask any recovering addict who is currently relapsing, and there is no doubt that that person is appalled by the fact that they are relapsing, but they just are.
Are relapses something completely beyond our control? No. With enough mental persuasion, anyone can stop relapsing forever.
Relapses are not easy to control. It’s like a skin-deep itch that begs us to feed it with our sanity. It's not that we're powerless; it's just that relapses can be unfairly powerful.
At IGNTD, we have successfully proposed a recovery plan for people. It’s so good that it makes relapsing sound harder than recovery. Let’s get right into it.
The Secret Behind Alcohol Relapse
At this point, anyone who has tried to stay sober for some time is probably familiar with what relapsing is or what it feels like. You try to stop; you’re doing a good job, and you’ve maintained this for weeks. In just one day, every single block you’ve placed toward sobriety has fallen. Now, you feel guilty, and your self-confidence is in shambles.
Addiction is conceptualized as a chronic, relapsing brain disorder. This is a compelling statement from the National Library of Medicine. If it is conceptualized as a "chronic relapsing brain disorder", then why do people treat it as if it’s an issue of self-discipline or restraint? When people relapse, they are so quick to blame their "stupidity" or "lack of discipline" instead of the body’s explosive reaction to unlearning something it has mastered over time.
That’s the first pillar of understanding relapses as an alcohol addict. When it happens, remember that it is not just "you" reacting to recovery; it is every cell in your body trying to resist change.
When people treat alcohol relapse as a symbol of shame and not a warning to change something wrong in their plan, recovery is going to be heavy for them. The mindset we want to communicate is that - When you relapse,your body is telling you that the plan it is currently running on isn’t working. YOU are not the mistake, your methods are.
Once you remember this, relapses will serve as a guide instead of a mark of failure. Keep going.
If you’re here to learn more about alcohol relapse, keep reading. You won’t regret it.
How to Spot an Alcohol Relapse
"But, how can you tell if I’m relapsing or just missing alcohol a little extra today?"
People who relapsed know that the urge to break sobriety feels like an itch you can’t control. It’s not subtle. If you feel it, you’ll know it. And what makes it a "relapse" is when that feeling becomes something seemingly impossible to stop.
Let’s talk about the specifics.
Alcohol relapse can manifest physically, mentally, and emotionally. If you have most of these boxes ticked, chances are you’re relapsing.
Stage 1: Emotional Urges
The first signs of any relapse are evident emotionally. People who break away from healthy routines are triggered by excessive emotions, whether they are positive or negative. Here are some specific emotional cues you can look out for:
Mood swings (unexplained and unrestrained reactions to certain things, events, or people)
Shame (usually ending up in isolation, you might feel as though you can’t meet people yet because you’re still "messy" or "unworthy of going out.")
Self-hatred (feeling disgusted or upset with yourself)
Hopelessness and/or negative nihilism (Asking questions such as "What’s the point of trying to recover?" or "Is recovery even worth it?")
Rumination of bad memories or past traumas (sudden images of negative events from the past, paired with shame, are major triggers that encourage relapsing).
Stage 2: Mental Effects
The next stage will target your mental state. Our brains are easily convinced that emotions are "simply emotions." Perhaps we’re just sad today.
But this stage pertains to when your emotions now have reasonings authored by your brain.
Instead of baseless emotions, your mind is now creating a list of reasons why relapsing is justifiable. Here are some specific red flags to watch out for:
Intentional isolation (wanting to be left alone or feeling too tired or drained to meet other people, often with a list of convincing reasons to not participate in any social event or events)
Feeling overwhelmed and constantly stressed (repeatedly feeling tense or overburdened, yet unable to point out exactly what you are stressing about or what you can do to alleviate the feeling)
Boredom is the inability to engage in any activity or the lack of sensation for things that once amused you.
Bargaining (feeling irritated or misunderstood by people who encourage your recovery while convincing yourself that "you were happier back then" or "you would have been so much happier if..."
"So what" mentality (a form of bargaining where a person starts saying things along the lines of "so what if I drink this" or "so what if I don’t ever recover?")
Stage 3: Physical Effects
If a person cannot overcome their emotional and mental triggers, they will undergo the physical or final manifestation of an alcohol relapse.
The outcome of all this if left unaddressed is relapse, which is the physical form of having these inner issues.
But, here are also some other physical effects that people experience while relapsing (other than the act of relapsing itself).
Low energy (especially in the mornings, people undergoing a bad relapse find it extremely taxing to accomplish physical tasks like working out, cleaning, or cooking food.)
Poor hygiene (self-neglect is a common effect under this topic; many recoverees confessed that taking a bath was insufferably burdensome while they were relapsing.)
Cravings for unhealthy foods (particularly deep-fried, sweet, and high-calorie meals)
IGNTD’s Tip of the Day
When you’re about to reach the bottle, don’t resist it. Instead, tell yourself that you are indeed going to take that drink. However, say that you are going to drink it after 30 minutes. No resisting; just delaying.
Within that 30-minute grace period, drink a lot of water and blast your favorite song. Dance, sing, or do whatever you want for 30 minutes. Once that’s done, go get that drink again. Many have found that distraction redirects our focus and lessens the effect of our brain seducing us to drink. Try it and let us know how it works at info@igntd.com !
What Causes a Relapse?
News flash: relapse is not a necessary part of recovery.
Do not think that if you’re recovering, you have to experience relapse. In fact, if your recovery plan is too straining to the extent that relapsing sounds like a better alternative. Bad news: your recovery method has a high possibility of not working out.
Now that that’s out of the way, here are some of the common reasons behind relapsing when you’re trying to quit alcohol.
Withdrawal symptoms
There’s a big BUT following this bullet. It is normal to feel tempted or irritable when you’re starting out. But it is not good if your “withdrawal symptoms” happen every day. If this is the case, you are not recovering in the manner your mind and body were built for. It’s okay, we can fix that.
Decline in mental health and emotional stability
The main word for this is “trigger.” When do you feel most obliged to drink? Do cravings feel more intense after a stressful day, or when you’re reminded of a particular event or person from the past? Do you end up drinking more when you feel restless? Take note of the reasons behind your actions because they are your triggers. From there, you can create a plan to cope or navigate yourself around them.
Unrealistic goals
This is the greatest mistake people make when trying to recover. Some of us want perfection in three days, and when we can’t, we end up worsening our situation. We at IGNTD have been firm in our belief that pure abstinence is harmful. You can read more about it in this book. Slow and steady with modifications based on your situation is key. Make sobriety a lifestyle and not a punishment. Why would you want to put yourself in such a rigid mindset?
People
You probably know where this is going. In a perfect world, you are going to have friends who are willing to hear and respect your decision in pursuing sobriety. Sadly, that kind of world does not exist. There will be people who are going to downplay or mock your journey - and some will stop inviting you to events because their concept of fun revolves around the shapely curve of the bottle. You don’t have to say “goodbye” to your social life forever. What you need is the right circle of friends. Look for people in the sober community with a similar set of beliefs and standards as you.
And if you can’t find one, we suggest attending a sobriety workshop or event. There, you’ll meet tons of amazing people with awesome non-alcoholic recipes and a desire to connect with people without the influence of an alcoholic drink.
Media
Movies, music videos, and song lyrics overhype alcohol. Piling cool filters, on top of perfectly scored music will conceal the ugly reality of alcohol’s impact. As a society, the media has convinced us that running toward the fridge and gulping down cans of beer will “make us feel better.” When all we’re doing is feeding ourselves lies and marketing schemes from alcohol companies. During a relapse, you might come across a triggering form of media.
You can choose to turn off your phone or television and go for a walk. Or, you can keep on watching, but this time a documentary on alcoholism. Give yourself time and you’ll be surprised (and betrayed) to witness how the media contributes to the alcoholic culture of today’s society.
Speaking of good media, have you tried checking out our YouTube channel? We have FREE factbomb-filled videos you shouldn’t miss!
IGNTD Summary: Alcohol Relapse vs. Our Brain
The point of this article is to show you that relapses are caused by a sum of multiple, potent factors that aren’t just your brain - or your lack to “get it straight.” Loosen up. Your journey is not unfixable because of a bad day. The only thing that will make you fail is giving up.
Stay tuned for our next deep-dive article on how you can treat a bad relapse.
Like this article? We also have an awesome podcast for you. Share it with your loved ones. They might need it.
Stay tuned for more tips on recovery and life. IGNTD is your space. Recovery isn’t just about success, it’s more about healing. Check out our IGNTD workshops if you really want that DEEP dive.