Emergence From COVID
Returning to “Normalcy”
A client of mine recently relayed a story about how when COVID hit and the world shut down, she had to make drastic shifts to her life, such as working as an attorney from home. Her music room, which was previously her recreation room and safe-haven, became a place to store files -- and her living room, which was previously a room to bond with her family, became a place to analyze murder cases. Yes, murder cases. The barrier between home and work-life became quickly blurred, sending her into a spiral of anxiety.
Over the past year and a half, many of us had to make these types of adjustments in our lives to move forward during the pandemic. Was it easy? No. But humans are incredibly adaptable, especially my client. Despite having to consume heavy subject matter in her home, she quickly adapted to, and even enjoyed, her new way of working.
Recently though, she was asked to pivot back to her real office, which has since been bringing up a lot of anxiety.
And she’s not alone. Right now, millions of people all over the world are going back to their offices in an attempt to return to pre-COVID normalcy. Rationally, they might be thinking that this will be a super simple return back to the way things were before, but instead they find themselves experiencing a deep level of anxiety and stress without understanding why.
Change Leads to Stress and Anxiety
When COVID first hit we all thought it wasn’t going to last very long, we braced ourselves for the unknown and did what we had to do to keep our bosses happy and our children fed. Though we all experienced a lot of stress and anxiety as the pandemic got worse, we also learned new coping skills, how to navigate unfamiliar conditions, and how to deal with uncomfortable pandemic related feelings such as confusion, isolation, fear, and sadness. At the same time though - we were also being asked to work, socialize, and show up as we did before! It was a LOT to handle!
Whether you went from analyzing murder cases at the office to analyzing them at home, or you went from interacting with your colleagues daily to helping your kids navigate home school between your own Zoom meetings - this shift was tough on us all. But nevertheless, we persisted. We adapted, adjusted and pivoted in order to make our immediate circumstances more tolerable. And then we got used to these changes.
A year and a half later, we’ve all grown accustomed to these new ways of working, living, and socializing. It makes sense, then, that we are experiencing anxiety as we are being asked to pivot once again.
Change, however good or bad you perceive it, takes a toll on our nervous systems.
Even though you might be happy to be back at the office, or to have a clearer delineation between work and home, doesn’t mean the only feeling you’ll have is relief, nor does it mean you will feel the same normalcy you felt before COVID about going to work.
Why? Because there is no “normal” to return to. We adjusted to a new normal during lockdown and now we have to adjust to a new normal as we open up.
My client couldn’t understand why she was stressed out about being back at the office. She liked working from the office more, especially because she had a clearer boundary between work and home. So what was it then? Well, after digging deeper we identified a couple things. 1. All of the stuff (i.e her files) she needed to do her job well, was still at home which was causing her stress every time she was at the office and 2. She’d already adapted to her new normal and had fear around having to pivot once again.
After moving her stuff back to her office she started to feel better about the transition. She also used the transition as an opportunity to explore her own concept of work-life balance. In other words, she changed her perception of change. Instead of viewing it as something to fear, she looked at it as an opportunity to evaluate what was working and what wasn’t.
Embracing Change vs. Bracing for Change
As things open up, you’re likely going to find yourself doing more of the “normal” things you did before such as going to work, attending social events, and engaging with people in person. While it might feel amazing to be back at your workplace and to be around others, it might also bring up feelings of anxiety and stress.
You might not be used to being in a space with people other than your family which probably means your social skills are rusty. Engaging in small talk might feel like torture. How many times can you really have the, “So, what was COVID like for you? conversation - before you want to rip your hair out?
On top of that, being around other people may bring up feelings of anger, anxiety, and fear depending on others’ hygiene, mask-use, vaccination status, etc. You’re likely going to find yourself amongst people who think differently than you which may cause more anxiety and more stress.
Whatever comes up for you as you step back out into the world, it’s crucial that you change your attitude about change. Are you bracing for change and preparing for the worst? Or are you able to embrace it and view it as an opportunity to improve your life?
Change Always Brings Opportunity
Change, though taxing on the nervous system, is also an opportunity to explore what you truly want so that you can create that change in your external world.
or example, if going back to work brings up feelings of stress or anxiety, dig deeper to find out WHY you’re being triggered. Ask yourself questions such as “How many hours would I like to work per day? How many days do I want to be in the office? What time do I feel ready to start my day? What level of engagement do I need to have with my colleagues and boss in order to feel prepared to complete my tasks?” Answering these questions can help guide you towards a new normal that feels more aligned with your true nature.
If you don’t address your anxiety and instead choose to ignore it or numb it out, however, change will still happen but it will likely be unwanted changes forced upon you. New standards and systems are being implemented as you read this - so now is the time to seize this opportunity and tune into your needs so you can help bring about the change you wish to see. You’ll probably find that many more bosses, managers, and supervisors are more open to having these Radically Transparent conversations because they've seen firsthand how the old way of working was not ideal.
Sure, there are going to be many moments during this transition back to “normality” where you will feel awkward, anxious, stressed out, etc. - but do not make the mistake of just glossing over these red flags. Instead, I want to encourage you to dig deeper and discover WHY you’re having those responses. Perhaps your anxiety is spotlighting areas of your life or society that are in need of a transformation.
Bottom line, how you perceive change is in YOUR hands - so let’s be deliberate and mindful so that we can feel empowered by changes instead of fearful of them.
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