What is Abstinence Sampling?
98% of those who struggle with drugs and alcohol don’t get help and 85% of those who do, don’t make it to one year sober.
The Abstinence Problem
I’m not exaggerating when I say that millions of people feel lost and hopeless in their battle with addiction. It’s no surprise then, that more and more people are dying every year due to alcohol and drug related struggles. In fact, a recent CDC report showed 2020 to be the deadliest year ever recorded for drug-related deaths.
So, what are we doing wrong when it comes to recovery treatment?
After people come out of rehab, try AA for a while, or complete other treatment programs, they might be sober for a while only to eventually fall back into old behaviors. This perpetual cycle of addiction suggests that there are some major flaws with the traditional approaches to fixing addiction. And in my opinion, the goal of abstinence plays a huge role. The idea of abstinence has become widely known and accepted as the only way to recover from addiction, but in reality it only scratches the surface. Cutting out porn, alcoholic drinks, or your drug of choice is like treating a symptom without digging deeper into why you developed that maladaptive behavior in the first place. That’s why the goal of abstinence leaves many people feeling trapped in their addiction and doesn’t actually heal the areas of their lives that are misaligned.
Abstinence Sampling
Thankfully, there is a much simpler way to recovery that is less challenging, less scary, and more likely to be successful - it’s called abstinence sampling. Never heard of it? That’s because you can mostly do it on your own, it’s pretty easy, and rehabs and clinics can’t make money from it.
So, what is abstinence-sampling?
Abstinence-sampling is the practice of removing the drug or behavior of choice from your life for a limited amount of time. Not only does it feel better to have an easy, attainable goal (vs. the goal of 100% perfection) but it only takes seven days.
The power of abstinence-sampling does not come from the act of quitting - but from analyzing why you continuously choose to behave that way. And you can only analyze something if you have some distance from it. This is why getting to the WHY of your problematic behavior is essential in order to break free from your addictions.
What situations trigger me to reach for a beer from the fridge?
Why do I light a joint immediately after walking in the door?
When do I feel most compelled to look at porn?
Asking these questions will help you uncover whether it’s financial stress, past trauma, a bad relationship, or a toxic work environment that’s leading you to engage in unwanted behaviors. Once you’ve determined why you are behaving that way, you can feel more compassion for yourself throughout the process. Because let’s face it, it’s much easier to grab a drink or light up a joint than it is to draft out a resignation letter from your company or find a new place to live away from your toxic partner. You’ve never had healthy coping strategies modeled to you and so you figured it out on your own. But now that you have the awareness, you can do better. As Maya Angelou wisely said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better.”
The idea of abstinence-sampling is pretty simple - take the possibility of drinking or using off the table for the day, for the hour, or for the week and pay attention to what comes up. Here’s what I can guarantee from my experience working with thousands of people - the issues that you haven’t realized that are bothering you in life and the extent to which they’re affecting you will bubble up if you just take the thing that you are using to escape from them off the table.
I use alcohol and abstinence-sampling with my clients to become more aware of the driving forces behind their addiction. The key is to pay attention to what’s happening in the present moment. Are you in a relationship where you’re fighting all the time and you drink all night to ignore reality? Do you hate your job so much that the only thing that is getting you through the day is looking forward to your first drink after work? These types of scenarios will be exposed through abstinence-sampling. If you don’t have that daily drink after work you’re going to be upset and the unpleasant emotions that you’re trying to gloss over will surface. Instead of reaching for that bottle, I want you to actually sit with that discomfort and ask yourself “what about this situation is making me want to drink?”
The Hall Pass
Before we close, here’s another way to look at your addiction. Do you remember that class in middle or high school that you just absolutely hated? The class where when you walked in the door you already felt anxious and bored and dreaded the next hour. Naturally, you’d do anything you could to get out of that class so that you could get a hall pass and escape those feelings; go to the bathroom three times, rummage around in your locker for your homework, or go to the school nurse. Now think about your unwanted behavior in the same way. Drinking, using, and watching porn are your hall passes away from life. The thing is though, you’re getting so many hall passes that you’ve forgotten why you don’t like the class in the first place - THIS is what you have to pay attention to.
Ready to get to the bottom of your struggles with addiction? Interested in figuring out what your hall passes are covering up? Follow this link to try our Free 7-Day Sober Experiment! This challenge will help you uncover the areas of your life that need repair so that you can break free from your addictions once and for all.