Expanding Your Erotic Intelligence with Alexandra Katehakis
We have a very special guest for you all today who is absolutely perfect for this month’s theme of sex and intimacy. Some of the work she has done is actually intertwined with our own story and we might not even be where we are today without her!
Alexandra Katehakis is the Clinical Director and founder of the Center for Healthy Sex in Los Angeles, California. This center is actually where I went to do my therapy initially when we first started really dealing with my sex addiction head-on in our relationship. At her center, Alexandra and her staff successfully treat a full spectrum of sexual disorders, ranging from issues of sexual desire and dysfunction to the treatment of sexual addiction. She is also the author of Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction and the co-author of Making Advances: A Comprehensive Guide for Treating Female Sex and Love Addicts, as well as Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence.
Sex addiction is such a taboo area of addiction — a lot of people don’t want to talk about it out in the open which makes it hard for people to get help. In this episode, we really focus on the ideas of sex addiction, the importance of vulnerability and radical transparency when it comes to healing and learning to trust again, how to reach the next level of intimacy with your partner, how to expand your erotic intelligence, and how Alexandra helps her clients work through some of their problems related to sex addiction, trauma, and early sexual programming.
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Topics Discussed:
[:35] A bit about today’s episode!
[:52] Reading our review of the week.
[1:40] Remember, if you leave a review and we read it on air, we’ll be sending you a special care package!
[2:02] We’re coming up on one million downloads! We would love it if you could share this podcast with someone you know so we, as a community, can hit one million before 2020!
[3:55] Reading our quote of the day on the theme of vulnerability from our guest’s book, Mirror of Intimacy.
[4:16] About our guest, Alexandra Katehakis.
[4:30] The importance of vulnerability and radical transparency when it comes to healing and learning to trust again.
[7:04] What is EMDR?
[8:53] An update on what we’re continuing to work on in our relationship.
[12:40] Speaking about how we were first introduced to our guest today, Alexandra.
[14:08] If we can reach one million downloads before 2020, ALL reviews will be sent a special package from us!
[17:35] The conversation portion of today’s podcast and welcoming Alexandra to the podcast!
[19:41] Alexandra speaks about how she first got into doing this kind of work.
[21:44] Misconceptions and misunderstandings around those who struggle with sex addictions.
[26:11] What exploring our sexuality has looked like in our relationship.
[31:06] Where we are, now a decade later.
[32:40] Alexandra asks Sophie: “Was there any part of Adi’s stories about acting out [during his sex addiction phrase] that turned you on?”
[34:09] How we get programmed early on with our ideas around sexuality and what turns us on.
[39:16] How does Alexandra help people understand what turns them on (especially when there’s a lot of shame associated around it for them)
[43:24] The importance of PLAY!
[45:00] Why safety is so incredibly crucial for sex.
[45:56] What the ‘discovery stage’ of cheating looks like at Alexandra’s center.
[48:50] Building intimacy after relationship trauma.
[51:56] Why it is harder to recover from the lies rather than the cheating itself.
[53:11] How we worked through our cheating.
[1:00:28] What is the best advice Alexandra has ever received?
[1:01:41] What has been Alexandra’s proudest moment to-date?
[1:02:41] What has been one of Alexandra’s hardest moments to-date?
[1:03:51] What are some of Alexandra’s self-care habits?
[1:04:30] What ignites Alexandra?
[1:05:26] Thanking Alexandra for joining us for this episode!
[1:05:48] Be sure to let us know if you’d be interested in hearing a session with us and Alexandra!
Mentioned in this Episode:
The Abstinence Myth, by Adi Jaffe
Alex Katehakis
Center for Healthy Sex
Perfect Bar Chocolate Mint Bar
The Alexandra Katehakis Podcast
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